As a working mom, I know firsthand the struggle of trying to balance a career while being present for my child. When I returned to work after my son was born, I quickly realized that the traditional 9-to-5 schedule wasn’t sustainable for my family. Between daycare drop-offs, pediatrician visits, and the inevitable sick days, I found myself constantly torn between professional responsibilities and being there for my little one. Like many moms, I felt guilty—guilty for leaving work early, guilty for missing bedtime, guilty for not being able to give 100% to both work and motherhood at all times. But I also knew something had to change. That’s when I decided to negotiate flexible work hours.
Through trial, error, and a few nerve-wracking conversations, I successfully created a schedule that allows me to be both a dedicated employee and an engaged mother. If you’re in the same boat, wondering how to approach your employer about flexible work arrangements, I hope my experience can help guide you.
Understanding What Flexibility Means to You
Before approaching my manager, I took some time to define what flexibility meant for me. Did I need to start my workday earlier so I could pick up my son in the afternoon? Did I want to work remotely a few days a week? Was a compressed workweek an option?
I made a list of what would work best for my family and compared it to my job responsibilities. I needed a solution that balanced my personal needs with the expectations of my role. For me, the best option was shifting my hours so I could start earlier and wrap up in time for school pickups, along with the ability to work from home a few times a week.
Preparing for the Conversation
I knew that simply asking for flexibility without presenting a solid plan wouldn’t work. Employers need reassurance that work will still get done efficiently. To prepare, I:
- Researched company policies – Some companies already have flexibility programs in place, which can make the conversation easier.
- Gathered performance data – I made sure I had concrete examples of my work ethic and productivity to show I was a reliable employee.
- Anticipated concerns – I considered potential objections my manager might have and prepared solutions in advance.
- Proposed a trial period – To ease any doubts, I suggested a temporary arrangement that could be evaluated after a few months.
The Negotiation: How I Approached My Boss
When I finally sat down with my manager, I started by emphasizing my commitment to my role and the company. I explained how flexible hours would allow me to maintain (or even improve) my productivity while also being more present for my son. I laid out my proposed schedule, how I planned to handle communication with my team, and how I would ensure deadlines were met.
To my relief, my boss was open to the idea. She appreciated that I came with a well-thought-out plan and agreed to try it out. After a three-month trial, my new schedule became permanent.
Managing Time Effectively
Getting flexible work hours was just the first step—I also had to make sure I used them wisely. Here’s what helped me stay on top of both work and home life:
- Creating a structured routine – I started my day at the same time, took designated breaks, and made a clear distinction between work hours and family time.
- Using time-blocking techniques – I scheduled focused work periods for high-priority tasks and reserved lighter tasks for times when my energy was lower.
- Setting boundaries – I let my colleagues know when I was available and stuck to those boundaries, resisting the temptation to answer emails at all hours.
Overcoming Guilt
Mom guilt is real. Even with a flexible schedule, I sometimes felt like I wasn’t doing enough in either role. But I had to remind myself that being a working mom doesn’t mean being perfect—it means doing my best with the resources I have.
I also realized that by advocating for flexibility, I was setting a powerful example for my child. He sees his mom working hard while also prioritizing family, which is a lesson in balance I hope he carries into adulthood.
Self-Care and Mental Health
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that flexibility isn’t just about work—it’s about making time for myself too. I made sure to:
- Take short breaks – Stepping away from my desk, even for five minutes, helped me reset.
- Prioritize sleep – I learned that a well-rested mom is a more patient and productive one.
- Ask for help – Whether it was my partner, family members, or even a babysitter, I leaned on my support system when I needed to.
Maintaining Work-Life Balance
Even with a flexible schedule, maintaining work-life balance takes effort. I’ve learned that small habits make a big difference:
- Turning off work notifications after hours – Once my workday ends, I disconnect to be fully present with my son.
- Scheduling one-on-one time – Whether it’s reading a bedtime story or going on a weekend adventure, I carve out special moments just for us.
- Giving myself grace – Some days go smoothly, others are chaotic. That’s just life as a mom, and that’s okay.
Final Thoughts: You’re Doing Amazing, Mama
If you’re considering negotiating flexible work hours, know that it’s possible. It might feel intimidating at first, but advocating for yourself and your family is worth it. Every mom’s situation is different, but we all deserve a schedule that allows us to thrive both professionally and personally.
And remember: You are doing an incredible job. Being a working mom is challenging, but every effort you make for your child and your career is something to be proud of.
You’ve got this!
