If you’re a working parent trying to juggle your career, home responsibilities, and your child’s sleep needs, I see you. Trust me, I know the struggle. As a working mom with a young son, getting enough sleep feels like a luxury—one that I barely ever get. But through trial and error (mostly error!), I’ve learned a few things about sleep training, and how to balance it all without losing my sanity. I’m here to share those lessons, in the hopes that it will help you find some peace and comfort on this chaotic journey.
The Exhaustion Is Real: Understanding the Struggle
It’s 2:00 a.m., and I’m up for the third time that night, trying to get my son back to sleep. My husband, though a loving partner, has been working late the past few days, and it’s all falling on me. The fatigue is real. As a working mom, this constant lack of sleep builds up, affecting my mood, productivity, and overall well-being. It’s easy to feel like you’re failing when every night feels like a battle.
But after months of sleepless nights, I’ve realized that it’s not about perfection. It’s about finding what works for your family. Sleep training, especially as a working parent, isn’t just about getting your child to sleep—it’s about finding ways to manage your time, energy, and emotions so that everyone is getting the rest they need. Here’s what I’ve learned and what might help you, too.
Time Management: Prioritizing Sleep (For Both of You)
One of the first things I had to come to terms with was that I couldn’t do everything. As much as I wanted to be Supermom—handling work, house chores, and my son’s sleep schedule—I had to accept that some things would have to wait.
When it comes to sleep training, time management is key. I started by creating a schedule that worked for both my son and me. This wasn’t always easy because, as any parent knows, kids don’t always follow the plan. But creating a structure for the day helped me make sleep a priority.
Here’s what worked for us:
- Set a Consistent Bedtime Routine: This was one of the hardest parts. As a working mom, the evening can feel rushed, with dinner, bath time, and everything in between. But consistency became a game-changer. We started with a soothing bedtime routine around the same time each night. This consistency helped my son know that it was time to wind down, which made the actual sleep training process easier.
- Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment: A dark, quiet room with minimal distractions is essential. We invested in blackout curtains and a white noise machine, and I started putting away my phone about 30 minutes before bedtime. This helped me wind down as much as it helped him.
- Make the Most of Nap Time: I realized that even though I wanted to use nap time to catch up on chores or work, I needed rest, too. When my son napped, I tried to take a short nap myself. I’ll be honest, it didn’t always happen, but when I did manage to sleep, it made a huge difference in my ability to function the rest of the day.
Self-Care: You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a mother is that self-care isn’t optional—it’s necessary. When you’re running on fumes, you can’t show up for your child or your job in a meaningful way. At first, I felt guilty about taking time for myself, but I quickly realized that without self-care, I was barely hanging on.
Here’s what helped me carve out moments of self-care while juggling sleep training:
- Delegate When Possible: This is where having a supportive partner or family member can make a huge difference. My husband and I learned to tag-team our son’s bedtime routine. Some nights, I handled the early part of the routine, while he took over the later part. This gave me some breathing room to unwind after a long day.
- Take Mini Breaks: As a working mom, it’s not always realistic to have a full hour to yourself. But I found small moments of peace during the day, like when I was taking a shower or sipping my morning coffee. Even just 10 minutes to sit quietly without any distractions did wonders for my mental health.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help: There’s no shame in asking for help. Whether it’s family, friends, or a babysitter, having someone watch your little one for even a few hours can give you the mental and physical space to recharge.
- Remember, It’s Okay to Rest: Don’t feel guilty for needing rest. As mothers, we often feel like we need to constantly be on the go, but our bodies and minds need recovery time to be effective in our roles. Taking time to rest isn’t selfish—it’s smart.
Overcoming Guilt: You Are Doing Your Best
Here’s the thing about parenting—guilt seems to come with the territory. You’ll feel guilty when you can’t attend that work event because you need to handle bedtime, or when you’re so tired that you have to take a break instead of playing with your child.
I’ll be honest: I’ve cried over missed moments or felt like I wasn’t doing enough. But the truth is, we’re all just doing our best. Sleep training isn’t about perfection, and neither is parenting. It’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. And it’s important to remind yourself that no one is perfect.
When guilt starts to creep in, I try to remember the following:
- You Are a Loving Parent: Every choice you make is coming from a place of love for your child. They feel that love, even when things don’t go as planned.
- There Are No Perfect Parents: Social media can make it feel like everyone else has it together. But the reality is, we’re all just figuring it out one day at a time. What works for one family might not work for yours, and that’s okay.
- Your Worth Isn’t Measured by How Much You Do: I’ve had to let go of the idea that my worth as a mom is defined by how much I do. Sometimes, just showing up and doing your best is enough.
Maintaining a Healthy Work-Life Balance: Finding Your Rhythm
Balancing work, home, and sleep training is no easy feat. There were days when I felt like I couldn’t manage it all—where I was behind on emails, the house was a mess, and my son wasn’t sleeping as well as I’d hoped. But through it all, I had to remind myself that I’m allowed to set boundaries and prioritize my well-being.
Here are some tips to help maintain a healthy work-life balance:
- Set Boundaries at Work: As a working mom, I had to become more assertive about my time. I started setting clear boundaries with my job. For example, I made sure to leave work at a reasonable hour so I could be present for my son’s bedtime routine.
- Communicate with Your Partner: My husband and I made a point to talk openly about how we were both feeling. This wasn’t always easy, but it helped us stay on the same page about who was responsible for what and when we could both get a break.
- Celebrate Small Wins: There were days when my son didn’t sleep well, and I felt defeated. But I had to remind myself that every small step counts. Maybe my son didn’t sleep through the night, but he did take a longer nap or settled down a little faster. These small wins were worth celebrating.
Conclusion: You’re Doing Your Best—And That’s Enough
As working parents, we’re constantly juggling responsibilities, trying to do it all and do it well. But the truth is, no one can do it all without support, rest, and self-compassion. Sleep training is hard, and there will be setbacks along the way. But with consistency, support, and a little grace, you can find your rhythm.
Remember, every step you take—whether it’s a successful night of sleep or a moment of self-care—is a victory. You’re doing your best, and that is more than enough. Sleep will come, and you’ll get the rest you deserve. Until then, keep going, keep loving, and most importantly, keep taking care of yourself.
You’ve got this.
I’m Zara Michell
