I never truly understood the phrase “it takes a village” until I became a mother. As a working mom, juggling the demands of a career and the responsibilities of raising a child, I quickly realized that having a support system wasn’t just a luxury—it was a necessity. But finding that support? That was a challenge in itself.
The Loneliness of Motherhood
When I first became a mom, I was so wrapped up in my new role that I didn’t even notice how isolated I had become. My days were consumed with feedings, diaper changes, sleepless nights, and work deadlines. My once-vibrant social life dwindled, and even when I did get a moment to myself, I was too exhausted to reach out to friends. The loneliness crept in quietly but settled in deeply.
Then, one day, after a particularly rough morning of daycare drop-offs and missed work calls, I found myself near tears at the office. A colleague—another working mom—noticed and simply said, “It’s hard, isn’t it?” That small moment of recognition changed everything for me. I realized I wasn’t alone, and I needed to build my village.
Why Mom Friendships Matter
Mom friendships are unique. They provide a safe space to vent, share advice, and, most importantly, remind you that you’re not alone. These friendships offer emotional support, practical tips, and sometimes just a much-needed laugh after a long day. Unlike well-meaning friends who don’t have kids, mom friends understand the guilt, the chaos, and the joy that comes with raising little humans.
Overcoming Guilt and Making Time for Friendships
One of the biggest struggles I faced when trying to foster mom friendships was guilt. Any time spent away from my son felt like I was failing him. But I soon realized that prioritizing my well-being made me a better mother. Here’s how I overcame that guilt:
- Reframing Self-Care – I started viewing time with friends as an investment in my mental health rather than a selfish act.
- Quality Over Quantity – I didn’t need to spend hours socializing. Even a quick coffee chat or a 10-minute phone call made a huge difference.
- Incorporating My Child – Playdates became my secret weapon. I could bond with other moms while our kids played together.
Finding and Nurturing Mom Friendships
If you’re struggling to find your own village, here are some ways to connect with other moms:
- Join Local Mom Groups – Whether through Facebook groups, community centers, or church groups, there are plenty of spaces dedicated to moms looking for connection.
- Attend Kid-Friendly Activities – Parks, libraries, and parent-and-child classes are great places to meet like-minded moms.
- Be Open and Approachable – I used to be too shy to start conversations, but a simple “How old is your little one?” led to some of my closest friendships.
- Reconnect with Old Friends – Sometimes, rekindling friendships with old classmates or colleagues who are now moms can be a great source of support.
- Use Apps for Moms – Platforms like Peanut connect moms in similar life stages.
Managing Time and Balancing Work, Life, and Friendships
Balancing work, family, and friendships can feel overwhelming, but it’s possible with intentional planning:
- Schedule Friendship Time – Just as I schedule work meetings, I block time for social interactions, whether it’s a monthly dinner or a quick check-in call.
- Leverage Technology – Group chats with fellow moms keep us connected even when we can’t meet in person.
- Combine Socializing with Other Tasks – Walks with another mom while pushing strollers or meal prepping together can be both productive and fun.
Self-Care is Not Selfish
Motherhood often demands that we put ourselves last, but prioritizing self-care benefits everyone in the family. Mom friendships are a crucial part of self-care. A coffee date, a heart-to-heart over text, or even just knowing you have someone to turn to in tough moments can make all the difference.
An Encouraging Word for Moms
To every mom reading this: You are doing an incredible job. Finding your village might take time, but you are not alone. There are other moms out there who understand your struggles and triumphs. So take that first step—reach out, join a group, or simply smile at another mom at the playground. You never know how much that one connection could change your journey.
Motherhood is tough, but with the right support, it becomes a little easier, a little more joyful, and a lot more fulfilling. Let’s build our villages together.
I’m Zara Michell
