If you’re reading this, chances are you’re juggling a million things at once. You’re a mom, a partner, a professional, a chauffeur, a chef, a therapist, and somehow, you’re expected to be a superhero in all these roles. I get it. I’m right there with you. As a working mother in the U.S., I’ve spent years trying to balance it all—only to realize that “balance” is a myth. What’s real is the chaos, the love, the exhaustion, and the small victories that keep us going. Let’s explore self-care for working moms to balance life, work, and family.
This isn’t a guide written by someone who has it all figured out. This is me, a fellow mom in the trenches, sharing my struggles, lessons learned, and a few practical tips that have helped me survive (and sometimes even thrive) while taking care of everyone else.
The Myth of “Having It All”
Let’s start by debunking the biggest lie we’ve been sold: the idea that we can “have it all.” Spoiler alert: you can’t. At least, not all at once. There are days when my work presentations are flawless, but my kids eat cereal for dinner. Other days, I’m the Pinterest-perfect mom, but my inbox is a disaster. And that’s okay.
I used to beat myself up over this. I’d scroll through social media, comparing my messy reality to someone else’s highlight reel. But here’s what I’ve learned: perfection is overrated. What matters is showing up—for your kids, your job, and yourself—even when it’s messy.
Time Management: The Art of Prioritizing
Time management is the backbone of survival for working moms. But let’s be real: no amount of planning can prepare you for a toddler’s meltdown or a last-minute work deadline. Still, there are ways to make life a little more manageable.
- Embrace the Power of Lists
I live by to-do lists. Every night, I jot down my top three priorities for the next day—both at work and at home. These aren’t exhaustive lists; they’re my non-negotiables. Everything else can wait. - Learn to Say No
This was a hard one for me. I used to say yes to everything—PTA meetings, extra projects at work, volunteering at school. But I’ve learned that every “yes” is a “no” to something else, usually my own well-being. Now, I carefully consider each request and only commit to what truly matters. - Delegate Like a Boss
You don’t have to do it all alone. Delegate tasks at work when possible, and at home, get your partner and kids involved. My husband is now in charge of bedtime routines, and my kids (yes, even the 5-year-old) have chores. It’s not always perfect, but it helps.
Self-Care: It’s Not Selfish, It’s Survival
Here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. I learned this the hard way. A few years ago, I was running on fumes—constantly exhausted, irritable, and feeling like I was failing at everything. That’s when I realized I needed to prioritize self-care.
- Start Small
Self-care doesn’t have to mean spa days or weekend getaways (though those are nice). It can be as simple as taking 10 minutes to drink your coffee in silence or reading a chapter of a book before bed. For me, it’s a nightly skincare routine. It’s my way of saying, “I matter too.” - Schedule It
If it’s not on the calendar, it’s not happening. I block off time for exercise, hobbies, and even naps. Yes, naps. Because sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is rest. - Ask for Help
This was a game-changer for me. I used to feel guilty asking for help, but now I see it as a necessity. Whether it’s hiring a babysitter for a few hours or asking a friend to pick up your kids from school, it’s okay to lean on others.
Overcoming Mom Guilt
Ah, mom guilt. That relentless voice in your head that says you’re not doing enough. I’ve spent countless nights lying awake, replaying everything I could’ve done better. But here’s what I’ve realized: guilt is a waste of energy.
- Reframe Your Thoughts
Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do, celebrate what you did. So what if you missed the school play? You’re working hard to provide for your family, and that’s something to be proud of. - Talk to Other Moms
One of the best ways to combat guilt is to share your feelings with other moms. You’ll quickly realize you’re not alone. I’ve had some of my most comforting conversations in the school pickup line. - Remember: You’re a Role Model
As working moms, we’re showing our kids what it means to be strong, capable, and resilient. That’s something to feel good about.
Work-Life Balance: It’s a Work in Progress
Work-life balance isn’t something you achieve; it’s something you constantly adjust. Some weeks, work takes priority. Other weeks, family comes first. The key is to be intentional about where you’re putting your energy.
- Set Boundaries
I’ve learned to set clear boundaries between work and home. When I’m at work, I’m fully present. When I’m with my family, I try to be fully present there too. This means turning off work emails during dinner and saying no to late-night calls. - Find Flexibility
If your job allows, take advantage of flexible hours or remote work. I’ve found that working from home a few days a week helps me be more present for my kids. - Celebrate the Small Wins
Did you make it through the day without yelling? Win. Did you manage to get everyone to school and work on time? Win. Celebrate these moments—they add up.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
Here’s the thing: being a working mom is hard. There’s no sugarcoating it. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. Every day, you’re teaching your kids the value of hard work, perseverance, and love.
So, to every mom out there who feels like she’s not enough: you are. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Take it one day at a time, lean on your village, and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Because when you thrive, your family thrives too.
You’ve got this, mama. And on the days when you feel like you don’t, just remember: you’re not alone. We’re all in this together.
With love and solidarity, A Fellow Working Mom
I’m Zara Michell
